My Closet Is Full of Team Spirit (But No Trophies)

How Growing Up Gay and Unathletic Led to My Preppy Sportswear Era

Photo by Weston St. James

I can’t escape the memory of showing up to basketball tryouts in middle school, taking one look around the locker room, and bolting to the school bus seconds later.

Mostly, I was nervous to fail and make a fool of myself, but looking back, I realize, I never liked basketball. I still question why I decided to try out in the first place. Was it because my brother played? Did I want to make more friends? Or did I just aspire to earn a cute varsity jacket?

Picture a scrawny, pale boy drowning in baggy hand-me-downs from a straight older brother and his hetero friends. Since fashion and presentation was never a priority in my household, I found myself piecing together random things I liked, hoping to look presentable (which I never quite did) at a school with mostly middle-class to rich families. Although it was a challenge, and I still find myself wrestling with my clothing and appearance, it has forced me to reflect on my personal style.

I’ve come to realize, because of how I grew up, sporty clothes have always found a way into my wardrobe. For example, even though I never liked football, let alone the Dallas Cowboys, one of my favorite shirts was a Troy Aikman (not Clay Aiken like my hands want to type) jersey. I knew I looked good in navy, I liked the boxy silhouette, and there was something about the font of the number 8. As I got older, there was a vibe, a playfulness, and an irony that I loved about wearing sportswear. And I’m sure there’s also something to be said about being a closeted, gay, introverted teen in the midwest, trying to fit in.

As I cultivate my personal style, I find myself hoarding vintage varsity patches and pennants to eventually sew into my wardrobe. I gravitate toward sporty cardigans, sneakers, and sports t-shirts, especially through the lens of Preppy and Ivy Style—à la Ralph Lauren and Gossip Girl. Blending classic menswear with casual sportswear has been my favorite way to feel put-together but not too serious.

Although I don’t play any sports or belong to a team, it’s the fantasy of it all that I’m drawn to. It’s the uniform (costumes), and the spirit of the events. And sportswear hasn’t only inspired my own style, it has influenced fashion globally, including Ivy and Preppy Style. Rugby polos, sweater vests with tweed suits, white socks with loafers, and tennis sweaters are all staples of these styles and inspired by sports. The more I learn about the history of fashion, vintage athletics, and design, the more inspired I get to refine my wardrobe.

Discovering this about myself has helped me make sense of my fashion choices. As you build your own wardrobe, I invite you to reflect on your past and ask yourself how you got there. Old memories, struggles, or people you miss may have impacted your every day clothes more than you think.

Q&A with myself:

What does sporty athletic-wear represent to you?

It represents playfulness and not taking life too seriously. It represents my aspirations of being more active and involved each day.

Will you ever join a team?

I’m going back and forth on taking rowing lessons in Pittsburgh this summer. On one hand it sounds insane: I’m scared of the river, I don’t like waking up early, I can hardly do push-ups, I get nervous socializing… but on the other hand, those are exactly the reasons I should do it.

Do you feel like a poser?

Sometimes. Putting on any clothing to present yourself to the world can be intimidating and sometimes I feel like I’m not worthy to be dressed a certain way. It brings up questions of “Who am I?” “What do people think?” But mostly, no. I’m not trying to convince anyone that I’m athletic or that I went to some elite school and I think it’s obvious by the way I put my outfits together, styling choices, and the way I carry myself.

What is your advice to someone trying to “discover” their own style?

Truly wear what you like and take your time. Rushing to buy pieces can leave you with a bunch of questionable junk. Also, I tend to stick to a similar base color palette that I believe suits me and I happen to love the colors as well. Try it out!